allthebaconandeggsyouhave: (breakfast food)

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Created on 2012-03-08 03:23:14 (#1531201), last updated 2012-03-11 (288 weeks ago)

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Name:Ron Swanson
Location:Pawnee, Indiana, United States of America
Ron Swanson is a libertarian who believes in small government and the responsibility of every American citizen to be as independent as possible.

He thinks Bobby Knight is the greatest. He is proud to be from Indiana and proud to be an American. He is also proud of his ability to survive any natural disaster. Being prepared is part of the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.

His diet consists of red meat, bacon, and eggs. Potatoes are also acceptable. When Ron Swanson eats, it is the food that is scared.

He has two ex-wives, both named Tammy. His mother is also named Tammy. His father didn't think he should go to college; Ron went anyway. Ron likes strong, independent women.

Ron is an accomplished woodworker who has caned chairs from a young age. He also makes flutes, which he is happy to sell to the Reasonablists, who believe that Zorp, the god with a volcano mouth, will return and separate us all from our flesh before the world ends. The Reasonablists require flutes and think it's a grand joke to write checks dated for the day after the end of the world. Ron smiles, and cashes them. The flutes are very high quality, as is everything he makes.

Pawnee is kind of an interesting place. And Ron Swanson directs the Parks and Recreation department by doing as little as humanly possible. Nothing pleases him more than when the government gets in its own way and accomplishes nothing at all.

(Unless it's seeing his coworkers -- a few of them, at least -- fulfill their potential and continue being awesome. But don't tell anybody. It's a secret that Ron works awfully hard to keep. Just like the one where his alter ego is Duke Silver, accomplished jazz saxophonist, beloved by hundreds of women in and around Eagleton. Connect those identities and you will regret it.)


Ron Swanson, portrayed by Nick Offerman, is from NBC's Parks and Recreation, and is the property of NBC, writers, Offerman, and overall not me. This journal is for RP purposes only, mostly in [community profile] milliways_bar, and I make no profit of any sort.

If you want to talk to me about Mr. Swanson, you can do that here or find me at [personal profile] agonistes.

Interests (9):

bacon, being a man, caning, meat, mulligan's, small government, steak, the pyramid of greatness, woodworking
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